Halloween is a time for fun, candy, tricks and treats. Last week, however, one mother experienced no treat when she and her five-year old son walked into his Catholic preschool. Dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo, the little boy horrified and disgusted mothers with his choice of costume. A picture of the boy in the costume has since then gone viral and shows him wearing purple tights, a wig, a dress, and even pink boots.
The mother had no problem with her son’s choice of costume, but we live in a country where following gender roles and being heterosexual are the norms. Therefore, it is no surprise that people have made verbal attacks at the boy’s mother for letting him dress in “drag” and for jeopardizing his sexual orientation. Some individuals even questioned the seriousness of the Catholic preschool the boy attends.
The mother’s reaction is an admirable, must-read that can be found below. She wrote, “If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.” She also made a wise comment towards what society deems acceptable in saying, “If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.” This is no doubt an example of the double standard that affects gender.
There are, thankfully, many who have commended and supported the mother. Outrage against Dr. Jeff Gardere, a clinical psychologist, surfaced after he appeared on CNN disapproving of the mother’s choices. He said, “It is the worst nightmare of heterosexual and gay couples to have to fathom that their child might be gay.” Since then, Gardere apologized in saying, “… it is a real issue for [parents] because they are afraid … even gay parents say it … [they] do not want their children to have to deal with the pain and the isolation and a lot of the emotional trauma ... as far as coming to terms with their sexuality.” It is absurd that a preschooler’s costume has the ability to turn into a dispute about sexual orientation.
Do you agree with the mother in her decision to let her son wear a costume that did not conform to society’s expectations? Do you agree with her posting the story online? Will it ever be possible for a greater amount of acceptance to exist when gender or sexual orientation is questioned? Would there have been any comments about a girl in a batman costume, as the mother mentioned? If you were a parent, would you have let your son wear the costume? Does this double standard of gender outrage you?
I stand behind the mother's comments 100%. That is her own son, and no one should tell her how to raise him. She was just being a good mother letting her son have some free will and pick his own halloween costume. This costume will not affect whether the boy will grow up to be homosexual or not, and I think people's comments about the boy's sexuality were abslutely absurd. I think the mother was also right in saying that no one would have said anything if a girl came in in a batman costume, which is very upsetting. If a girl can dress in a "boy" costume with no problem, the opposite should be true also. If I was the mother, I would have let my son wear the halloween costume because that is what he wanted to dress as for halloween and I would let him have fun and use his imagination. This story made me upset that all those people would actually lash out and say those things about this little boy and his costume.
ReplyDeleteThe mother in this story did something very admirable that should set an example to other parents. Just like we are entitled to say what we desire we should also be entitled to dress as we wish, and that is exactly what this young boy did. The outrage of the Catholic School for this young boys costume choice only exemplifies what a double standard society has created. If a girl choses to wear boy jeans and workbooks no one will object but when the tables are turned and a male wears something slightly feminine they are outcasted and made fun of or even worse, insulted. Society's creation of gender roles has led to events like this where society becomes outraged when someone steps out of their stereotyped gender role. Although the little boy probably did not intend to cause such a huge statement he in fact has. Children should be encourages to dress how they desire, express who they are and not be confined by society to portray a role they may not want to.
ReplyDeleteOur society is very stereotypical. From the moment we are born, boys are dressed in blue and girls in pink. Boys are expected to play with trucks and girls with dolls. Girls are expected to act as girls and boys are expected to act as boys. To me, this blog is disturbing especially since the boy was a young child. Everyone should be accepted for who they are and be free to express themselves in any way they want without being judged. Judging someone because of their sexual orientation leads to problems which can result in tragedies, such as teen suicide. I agree with the decision the mother made in letting her son wear the costume although it did not conform to society’s expectations. The child is just a child, and most likely he chose the costume because he liked the show. Posting the story online allows people to realize a major problem we have in American society. Unfortunately, people are quick to make judgments. I think it would take a lot of work for our society to have a greater acceptance when it comes to gender and sexual orientation. Drastic changes would need to be made. However, hopefully this mothers actions set an example of society should be. I think parents should let their kids dress and play with whatever they prefer, even if it is not “normal” for their gender.
ReplyDeleteI say good for the mother and also good for the son. I just hope that in the future, he is taught to be strong about his decisions whether or not they are "normal" because the last thing I would want is for this act to become an embarrassing regret in the boy’s life that would lead him to retreat from the fight for gay rights, whether or not he is gay.
ReplyDeleteIf this is how the boy wants to act, I want the mother to do everything possible to support him so that he may be a leader in the future rather than a coward that submits to what people want him to think/act/say.
The fact that he goes to a religious school should not restrict what the boy wears for a Halloween costume. Additionally, the opinion of the boy should not reflect upon the school negatively and the opinion of the school should reflect upon the boy negatively.
This argument of religion vs. homosexuality always frustrates me because if the people who are prejudice against gays were true to their religion, they would love all God's creatures no matter what.
I wonder if the boy was sent home for his costume?
I think that this mother is doing something very admirable for her son. She allowed him the freedom to choose his own path despite what society says is the norm. Hopefully, this mother will continue to encourage her son to follow his own will and ignore the pressures of society. Whether it be related to his sexuality or not, this kind of parenting will help him become a self-sufficent youg man who is able to determine his own path without having to constrict himeself to fit society's model.
ReplyDeleteI also think a very valid poiont is brought up about girls dressing in boys costumes. Parents would not have blinked an eye if a girl showed up as superman or batman. The same should be true for little boys. Additionally, Halloween is a time for people to dress up as things that they will most likely never become. However, I do feel that there must be some reasoning behind the choce of the costume. For example, a child may pick a prison inmate because they feel that breaking the law is cool. This costume choice is much more disturbing to me than Daphne from Scooby Dooo.
I believe that the mother was right in saying that it shouldn't matter what her son was dressed as. He was five years old and just imitating a show that he enjoyed. At that age, there is no differenciation between gender, just interests. They dress the way they feel and this is evident in this Halloween costume. This boy just happens to really like the girl character, Daphne. This has no bearing on sexual orientation. I feel it is wrong to judge someone at this age. They have no idea what it means to be homosexual or heterosexual. They just enjoy dressing up for Halloween and having fun collecting candy.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the other comments that this mother took the correct action in letting her son be whatever he wanted for Halloween. If I were this child’s mother, I would have done the same thing. Halloween is supposed to be a fun holiday for children, and the last thing that they should have to worry about it being picked on because of their costume. I have a very hard time understanding why people get so worked up over issues like this just because they think some behavior is solely appropriate for girls and some actions are solely appropriate for boys. People should be able to do whatever they want and be able to express themselves freely. Also, it is unfair that there is a double standard. Therefore, I completely agree with the mother that if a girl wanted to dress up as something more boyish, this problem never would have come up.
ReplyDeleteI also think it is very sad that the little boy started to get nervous that his friends at school would laugh at him and make fun of him for his costume. After begging his mother for it, he should be excited about showing off his costume and he should not have to worry about what others will think of him. I think that people took this issue too far and even said that the mother let her child dress up in “drag.” This is an innocent little five year old who simply wanted to dress up as a character from his favorite TV show, so there is no point in making a big deal out of it. Sometimes I think that people make issues much more complex and take them much farther than they need to.
I agree with the general consensus that the reaction to this situation was absurd and that the mother was completely warranted in the way she responded to the attack. As a society we should encourage children to express themselves, not try to suppress it. Just because a boy want to dress up for Halloween as a female character does not mean he is a homosexual. He might just like the character. I also think that the mother posting the story online was a good idea. Today, the only way to really raise a broad awareness on an issue is to go to the media, and by raising awareness the problem might have a possibility of being solved.
ReplyDeleteI think that this story illustrates how there is a double standard about gender roles especially for children. As mentioned previously, if a girl had dressed up as batman there would be no controversy. Young girls are generally not criticized for dressing in a more masculine way or participating in activities that usually are associated with boys. Instead they are just labeled as tomboys and have the perception that they will one day grow out of the phase. On the other hand if a young boy were to partake in activities primarily associated with girls, then everyone would immediately suspect him to be gay and try to get him to be more masculine.
I found this article actually disturbing when I was reading it. I do not feel that this mother was doing any harm to her son by allowing him to wear a girls costume. I do agree with the mother posting the story online because she was able to express how she felt and she wanted everyone to know that she was not bothered with her son dressing up as a girl. If a girl was to dress up as a boy, for example the mother uses batman, I don't feel there would have been the same reaction. Girls can be considered tomboys, but when boys are a little feminine they are immediately considered gay. If I was a parent, I would allow my son to wear the costume because it is who he wants to be. I do not feel that there will ever be complete acceptance when discussing gender or sexual orientation. It is very similar to the issue on race. Even after about 200 years,complete acceptable is still not seen. This double standard of gender does outrage me. It upsets me to know that a little boy can't dress up as whatever he wants and when he does he recreates a new story.
ReplyDeleteI entirely support the valliant choice the mother made to allow her son to be Daphne for Halloween. I am really taken back and sort of disturbed that the costume has caused such an uproar because as the mother said, just because he dressed as a girl does not mean he is going to grow up with feminine tendencies just as "your son is going to grow up as a real Ninja". Halloween is an exciting holiday because for one day, we can all freely be who we want to be and express our desires in an exotic way. No person, especially A CHILD, should be discriminated for their choice of costume. It is obsurd that people are so shallow and ignorant to think that just because a young boy wanted to experience the clothing of a favorie television Character, that he is gay and the mother is supporting him being gay. I agree with Natalie when she says: "If I was a parent, I would allow my son to wear the costume because it is who he wants to be". As a parent, I would never want to hold my child back from anything they wanted to be especially on a day where this sort of expression is acceptable. This situation only makes me think, what's next?! Young girl dresses as a dog for Halloween and people realize that when she grows up she will experience Bestiality (desire to have sex with animals).
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Natalie when she states that this situation is a "double standard" because as the mother stated: if a girl dressed as Batman, no one would think twice of it. There are so many issues with sexuality because people make their own rules and standards for what is right and wrong based on societal norms, but what people need to realize is that what is accepted for one person needs to be accepted for the other
When I first read this blog, I was shocked that a young boy would choose Daphne as a Halloween costume simply because Daphne is a female character in Scooby Doo. Then I realized that the boy is probably too young to associate the character as something girly, which is perfectly okay. Halloween is the one holiday where people are free to express themselves for a day, and the boy's mother did the right thing defending her son because Halloween costumes are not meant to be taken seriously.
ReplyDeleteI can understand if other people were caught off guard by the preschooler's costume, but their assumptions and words went too far. I found it very rude that grown adults made homosexual references to a child that probably does not understand what that even means. The boy just wanted to dress up as his favorite cartoon character and no one should have a problem with that.
I agree with the boy’s mother. Halloween is about expressing you and what costumes portray a role in their life that they look up to or just admire. This boy admired the television show Scooby-Doo and the character Daphne, enough to dress up as her. I’m sorry but this shows that the boy has a lot of self-confidence and self-reliance to not care what other people thought about him and what they would say about him behind his back. I could never do something like this as a kid. I don’t agree with the other mothers who were disgusted at the little boy and embarrassed for the mother, because it’s just Halloween and people especially little kids shouldn’t be judged on what costume they wear. In my experience with a lot of trick-or-treating, I’ve seen teens dress as the opposite sex, does this consider them to be gay? I dressed as a football player one year; does this mean I’m gay? I do not really understand why these people are judging a little boy on whether he is gay or straight based on what Halloween costume he was wearing. I feel like it’s ridiculous for adults; who are supposed to be the most excepting people, to be judging a child. I feel like the mother was right about to not care if her son was gay or straight and allowed him to wear what he wanted, and this just shows the boy has freedom. The boy in my opinion is not gay; he just wanted to dress up as his role model and his favorite television character, and it just so happened to be a girl. I also feel like CNN made it worse for the mother, not only did she have other mothers giving her shrewd looks and comments but a news station was doing the same thing. People, other than this boy’s parents should not care what sexual orientation he his, it’s not their business to know or even need to know.
ReplyDeleteI strongly support the mother in this situation. People are blowing the entire situation out of proportion. Halloween is a time to dress up and have fun! Crazy cotumes are admired. Children should not have to worry about a double standard that they clearly have no idea about, and the parents should not be blamed just because they give their children the freedom to express themselves. I agree with Casey that it is far more disturbing if a child wanted to dress up as an inmate, but even this does not mean the child will grow up to be a convict. Little girls would not be criticized if they dressed up in what society would consider a "boys" costumes just as the mother says, "If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it". The media, other mothers and Catholic school should not have judged this boy. They are adults and should have handled the situation differently to avoid this incident.
ReplyDeleteI find that the boy is at a young enough age where he doesn't relate what he wears as a costume to sexual orientation. To a young child like this he is simply dressing up as a character. It isn't right that he is being judged by other parents and put down for it at such a young age, and the mother has every right to allow her son to express himself the way he pleases. I feel that he is too young to be exposed to this unfair discrimination, and I agree that if these parents considered the true value of Christians at this private school, they would learn to love and accept everyone the way they are. As the mother said, it would not be an issue if a girl dressed up as batman, that's ok. However, I do not feel like it is ok for a young child to have to face this kind of trouble, just from innocently wanting to dress up as a female cartoon character. It is ridiculous to even consider his sexual orientation at such an age, because he is too young to know better. It is a natural thing for kids to try new things and try to stick out and seek attention. Is it possible that this was all the boy was trying to do?
ReplyDeleteThe question is do they really know what sexual orientation is, and when and how it should be judged. sexual orientation should not be about what you wear, and on a day like halloween it should not even matter. The mom didnot do anything wrong, it is not like she she made her son a transgender. She only let him wear what he wanted to wear and that litle boy should not have been judged.
ReplyDeleteThe mother made tha right choice in letting her son dress up in the Daphne costume. Who is anyone to tell someone else that they can't "dress up" as what they want for Halloween? Thats the whole point of Halloween, you get to be something you're not. That child had every right to dress up as Daphne whether he knew the difference or not. And when it comes down to it, he really doesn't know the difference. No preschool aged child understands homosexuality or sexual orientation. If we look at Halloween for boys at high school and college levels what is the most common halloween costume for them? It's to dress as girls in any way, shape, or form. But do we criticize the group of football players that do this? We don't question their sexuality. They have more of an understanding than that preschooler does and they continue to do it without scrutiny. So what if the boy was dressed like a girl. Like the mother said, I'm sure there were some girls in the class dressed as batman or superman. You could take it one further and say that girls could be dressed as construction workers which in society is a male dominant job. It isn't looked down upon when this is done. Once again the main point here is that the little boy and the children in the class have no understanding of homosexuality or sexual orientation. If the school and other parents weren't so busy making a problem out of nothing it would be no big deal. And it shouldn't have been. So good for the mother for speaking out.
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